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I Did it All for the Cookie

The other day, I heard the words that every man wants to hear. My wife looked at me, licked her lips slowly and in a low, sultry voice said that my chocolate chip cookies are better than hers. Which is funny, because I didn’t know we were in a cookie making competition and I rarely make cookies. So, here I am on a Saturday night, listening to Sanguisugabog ( hope I spelled it right, not gonna look it up, but it was the perfect antidote to the tearjerker, Olivia going to college mix that I had been listening to earlier) and making cookies for my daughter to take with her to college. What can I say, food is my love language.

Like many things, the platonic ideal of a chocolate chip cookie is wholly dependent upon the cookie eater. Some people like them super crispy and some almost cake like (I can’t really get behind this cookie type, but, obviously I’ll eat one if you give it to me). You can have your pies, your cakes(cheese, pound and otherwise) , your linzer tortes and baked alaskas, for me, the perfect dessert is one, well made chocolate chip cookie. My cookie recipe is pretty basic, but it makes cookies that are the perfect mix of crunchy and chewy. Feel free to add whatever, nuts, a touch of cinnamon and/or chile powder (ancho or chipotle is best), those little caramel chips, etc the cookie world is your oyster, don’t let the haters get you down. To quote one of the great thinkers of our time ‘C is for cookie and that’s good enough for me.’

O’s going to college playlist, if you want to cry while getting ready to make cookies.


Sanguisugabogg( I forgot the extra g earlier, but I’m not going to change it) if you need the antidote or your spouse to wonder what in the hell is wrong with you.


Zach’s Chocolate Chip Cookies

First, preheat the oven to 375. I always forget this part, which means I’m standing around with cookie dough for 15 minutes, which means I eat waaay too much cookie dough and then hate myself when I only have enough dough to make 6 cookies.


Ingredients

2 sticks butter ( or one of those kerrygold or Kirkland packs) softened (don’t skip this step, and don’t liquify the butter in the microwave, still edible, but a crappier product)

1 cup regular white granulated sugar

1 cup brown sugar

Cream these ingredients, for those that don’t speak bakingese, cream just means whip it together in your KitchenAid or with those old school handheld mixers until the butter and sugar are completely mixed together.

Then add

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

2 eggs

Whip it a little bit more until everything is mixed together.

In a separate bowl mix (with a fork or spoon, you don’t have to go apeshit, just combine it)

3 cups All Purpose Flour

1 teaspoon baking soda (now’s the time to scream “Baking Soda, I’ve got baking soda!” Like OT Genesis)

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt ( if you use reg salt, you’re basic af, but also cut this by 1/2)

2 cups chocolate chips ( I’m not going to be a snob about chocolate, use whatever you like, semi sweet is the go to, but you be you boo, heck crush up some chocolate bars if you want to be super fancy)

Now is the time to add your freestyle ingredients (nuts,ground chile pepper, marshmallows, cinnamon, nutmeg, the spice world is yours)


Then combine the two bowls, I usually add like a third of the flour mixture to the wet stuff, mix then add the next third, mix and then add the rest and mix it up, scraping the sides of the bowl to get it all combined. You can dump the whole thing in at once if you’d like, but don’t blame me when your kitchen gets a floury coating when you turn the mixer on, Messy Marvin.

After it’s all combined, grab 3 sheet pans, spray them with Pam, or line them with parchment paper and start portioning your cookies. It’s super easy if you have a 1 or 11/2 oz scoop, but you can do it with a spoon grandma style, I just go back and roll them in a ball by hand if I do this, but you don’t have to if you prefer your cookies wild style. Pop them in the oven in batches for like 9-10 minutes. I like to take them out and bang the pan on the counter at about 7 minutes to make them deflate, but I also love to make unnecessary noise according to my wife and daughter, so you can skip this step if you want. They will still seem floppy, but will crisp up after you let them sit for the 10 minutes it takes to make the next batch.

After they’re all done cooking and cooling, chow down. They save in the fridge or the freezer, no idea how long because we(I) usually house them within a week.



 
 
 

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